I just returned from seeing a movie at the theater at Atlantic Station, here in Atlanta. Pulling into Atlantic Station, I noticed Christmas lights in all of the trees, red and white lighted snowflakes draped delicately across each street...
These holiday decorations were not here last weekend, so I became perplexed. It's too early for "Christmas in July." Were they filming a holiday movie here? I briefly pondered over other possible reasons. Then, without my knowing, my mind just drifted and accepted the fact that the decorations were there. I found myself smiling at the beauty of the lights, backed by the Atlanta skyline, the full moon -- the one that's been looming around for the past few days -- hanging in the crisp night sky. It was like Christmas all over again...
I came home after the movie, checked my email, and logged into Facebook. I had received one of the myriad of questionnaires that get sent out by friends. This one was titled "My Personal Bucket List," a random list of things to do and places to visit. You are supposed to check the ones that pertain to you, and forward it on to other friends. Reading the list made me think of things that I've done and things that I want to do. It made me think about what I want to eventually come my way. It made me think about love, and what I am missing in that area. So, I thought it might be time to write an early letter to Santa.
"Dear Santa,
So much has happened in the last few years. I have been lost, afraid, endeared, lonely, alone, ecstatic, content, independent, elated and reborn. I have run a gamut of experiences and emotions, and am ready to find my center, find my happiness, find myself, and find my soulmate. I am actively working on the first three and am making great strides, but it is the last one Santa that I need your help with. I have always said that I think that people do not find what they truly want in a relationship because they do not know what they want. They do not allow themselves to think about what they want, accept what they want, and voice what they want. So, I am taking that step to say what it is that I want and am hoping to find in a mate...
I want someone who loves me. Truly, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly, loves me. But this love does not overshadow our own selves. We come together as two separate, happy, well adjusted, whole people, who form a life together, but never lose who we are as individuals.
I want someone who wants to see me every minute of the day, but is able to function without me -- goes to work, to the gym, hangs with friends, spends time alone, betters himself, but then comes home to me. I want this man to want the same for me.
I want someone who laughs at my stories and jokes, and never gets tired of listening to me talk, even if they've heard the story before.
I want to be heard.
I want someone to hold me, just because. To hold my hand while we're watching TV, kiss my belly button, and caress my skin. I want to catch him looking deep into my eyes in a way that I know that he is looking only at me. I want him to kiss me in public, and to be happy enough that he is with me that he wants the world to know it.
I want someone who can just chill at home, watching TV, cooking a meal, talking to each other, or just being quiet together. He should be able to dress up for a night on the town, or dress down for a casual weekend outdoors, housework, shopping, or...nothing.
I want someone who wants me...desires me. Someone who loves to look at and caress my body, imperfections and all. I want to be made to feel sexy...
I want someone to make me want to be a better person, someone who goes out of their way to treat others well, and lends a helping hand when there is a need. Someone who does things for the betterment of the world, without caring if anyone ever sees them doing it.
I want someone who never holds me back from attaining the goals that I have in life, wanting, instead, to share them with me.
I want someone who wants me to be me, whomever I decide that "me" should be.
He should want to meet my family and friends, and should accept that they are a part of my life, and share in the joy that they bring to me.
He should not play games, not have an over inflated ego, and should have a nice sense of humor. He should be honest and monogamous. He should be confident and accepting of himself, flaws and all. He should be himself and not camouflage any part of himself in the desire to hide things he might think others would judge or disapprove of. He should know who he is and what he wants out of life.
He should want to build a life for the two of us where love and warmth abound, where there is always room for both the collective "us" and the independent "us."
I want someone who wants me to love him.
And, I want someone who wants all of these things for himself.
I have a lot to offer someone Santa, as I'm sure you know. I am a good, kind, witty, romantic person, who is full of life and loves to make others smile. I am talented, and have defined goals and pursuits that I want to achieve. I just need your help, Santa, in putting these thoughts out to the universe, so that it can align the stars to help me meet my Mr. Right, whether it be be next week, next year, or even someone that I have already met.
I know you can do it, Santa. I have faith. I will work on making myself ready for Mr. Right when he comes. You just work on helping him to find me.
Thanks for your help.
Sincerely,
Me"
**********************************************
The music that completes today's look is "Say You Love Me" by Jennifer Holliday.
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Paper Planes
It's funny how things work. I had been fretting all day about what I was going to write about, and nothing. I tried letting my mind go, I tried focusing, I even tried to think in depth about everything that crossed my mind today. But nothing...
I was having a particularly bad "poor me" day. But, in true fashion, I always find that when I think I have it bad, there's always somebody who has is worse. I was flipping channels after work and I stopped on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She was having 8 survivors of US Airways flight 1549 that crashed into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009. I decided to watch, as I was working that day -- and I never watch the news -- and was not familiar with the details of the crash.
I expected the usual somber, tearful mood, as the survivors told their stories. But I was shocked when the guests were introduced and walked onstage to the thumping dance beats of "Survivor" by Destiny's Child, each one beaming and kid-like, dancing to the R&B beats as if it were a house party. This immediately touched me. Here I was expecting sad, and what I got was joy, laughter, and frivolity. The 8 men and women danced out onstage, one of them holding his hands out, pretending to be an airplane gliding. Another sailed paper airplanes into the audience as he, too, danced his way over to receive his welcoming hug from Ellen. This immediately brought tears to my eyes (as a matter of fact, I'm a little weepy recalling the scene). I don't know who was responsible, whether it be the producers of the Ellen show, Ellen herself, the energy in the air, or just the joy of the survivors to be alive, but I thought it beautiful that these people were celebrating their escape from death, rather than wallowing in the tried-and-true talk show downer.
The interviews were amazing. Each person recounting their memories of the 2 minutes that the plane was in the air before crashing into the Hudson River -- the explosion...the flames shooting from the engine...the shifting of the plane...the sound of the second engine shutting down. They described the "absolute eerie silence" as the plane seemed to effortlessly glide down towards the river, no one certain what was happening. Then hearing the captain simply say, "Prepare for crash landing." The story should've been told nervously, by wrinkled brows, and sullen eyes. But all 8 of these people smiled, laughed, cajoled, and joked. It was amazing... I found myself smiling with them.
Then Ellen asked if any one of them thought, or had time, to call anyone during the short descent. Most said that there was just no time. But a young woman, pretty and blond, said that she took out her Blackberry and managed to type a message to her husband containing just 4 simple words: "My plane is crashing." I immediately started crying as I imagined getting a message containing those 4 words from a loved one -- the fear, the heartbreak, the devastation. The woman said that she was prepared to die and knew that in the aftermath her husband would be frantic wondering if she, indeed, was on the plane. She said that she wanted him to know for certain that she was...
In the midst of the storytelling, one of the gentleman's wife, who was seated in the audience, told of how she had been watching Ellen's show when the program was interrupted for a breaking news story. She told of how annoyed she was that they cut in in the middle of a part of the show she was really enjoying. Then she told of the shock as she realized that the news story was about the crash, and that her husband was on that flight. It was the first time that the mood sank, as the gentleman's face went, for just a split second, from smiling, to tearful...
The show culminated in Ellen giving each of the 8 survivors a 7 days cruise for two, and what I thought was the icing on the cake: Ellen presented each of them with a t-shirt that altered her "laugh.dance.change" motto to state "laugh.dance.float." I found it to be brilliant!
Needless to say, my "poor me" mood had no where to run but away. Here were 8 people that faced what they all assumed was certain death, only to survive and tell their stories with all of the joy and laughter that could be imagined. It lifted my spirit and, just for a minute, made me a better person.
So today's post is a thank you to the Ellen DeGeneres Show for giving us what was least expected from the re-telling of disastrous moment-- joy... laughter... hope...gratefulness.
************************************
The music that completes today's look is "Survivor" by Destiny's Child in appreciation for the survivors of US Airways flight 1549 for showing me that my struggles are never as bad as they seem.
I was having a particularly bad "poor me" day. But, in true fashion, I always find that when I think I have it bad, there's always somebody who has is worse. I was flipping channels after work and I stopped on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She was having 8 survivors of US Airways flight 1549 that crashed into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009. I decided to watch, as I was working that day -- and I never watch the news -- and was not familiar with the details of the crash.
I expected the usual somber, tearful mood, as the survivors told their stories. But I was shocked when the guests were introduced and walked onstage to the thumping dance beats of "Survivor" by Destiny's Child, each one beaming and kid-like, dancing to the R&B beats as if it were a house party. This immediately touched me. Here I was expecting sad, and what I got was joy, laughter, and frivolity. The 8 men and women danced out onstage, one of them holding his hands out, pretending to be an airplane gliding. Another sailed paper airplanes into the audience as he, too, danced his way over to receive his welcoming hug from Ellen. This immediately brought tears to my eyes (as a matter of fact, I'm a little weepy recalling the scene). I don't know who was responsible, whether it be the producers of the Ellen show, Ellen herself, the energy in the air, or just the joy of the survivors to be alive, but I thought it beautiful that these people were celebrating their escape from death, rather than wallowing in the tried-and-true talk show downer.
The interviews were amazing. Each person recounting their memories of the 2 minutes that the plane was in the air before crashing into the Hudson River -- the explosion...the flames shooting from the engine...the shifting of the plane...the sound of the second engine shutting down. They described the "absolute eerie silence" as the plane seemed to effortlessly glide down towards the river, no one certain what was happening. Then hearing the captain simply say, "Prepare for crash landing." The story should've been told nervously, by wrinkled brows, and sullen eyes. But all 8 of these people smiled, laughed, cajoled, and joked. It was amazing... I found myself smiling with them.
Then Ellen asked if any one of them thought, or had time, to call anyone during the short descent. Most said that there was just no time. But a young woman, pretty and blond, said that she took out her Blackberry and managed to type a message to her husband containing just 4 simple words: "My plane is crashing." I immediately started crying as I imagined getting a message containing those 4 words from a loved one -- the fear, the heartbreak, the devastation. The woman said that she was prepared to die and knew that in the aftermath her husband would be frantic wondering if she, indeed, was on the plane. She said that she wanted him to know for certain that she was...
In the midst of the storytelling, one of the gentleman's wife, who was seated in the audience, told of how she had been watching Ellen's show when the program was interrupted for a breaking news story. She told of how annoyed she was that they cut in in the middle of a part of the show she was really enjoying. Then she told of the shock as she realized that the news story was about the crash, and that her husband was on that flight. It was the first time that the mood sank, as the gentleman's face went, for just a split second, from smiling, to tearful...
The show culminated in Ellen giving each of the 8 survivors a 7 days cruise for two, and what I thought was the icing on the cake: Ellen presented each of them with a t-shirt that altered her "laugh.dance.change" motto to state "laugh.dance.float." I found it to be brilliant!
Needless to say, my "poor me" mood had no where to run but away. Here were 8 people that faced what they all assumed was certain death, only to survive and tell their stories with all of the joy and laughter that could be imagined. It lifted my spirit and, just for a minute, made me a better person.
So today's post is a thank you to the Ellen DeGeneres Show for giving us what was least expected from the re-telling of disastrous moment-- joy... laughter... hope...gratefulness.
************************************
The music that completes today's look is "Survivor" by Destiny's Child in appreciation for the survivors of US Airways flight 1549 for showing me that my struggles are never as bad as they seem.
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