Letting Go

I was sitting at a stop light yesterday, listening to a song that I've listened to many, many times in the past year -- "Let The Wind Chase You" by Trisha Yearwood. Whereas I am usually just singing along, rapt in Trisha's exquisite vocals, yesterday I actually stopped and listened -- really listened -- to the lyrics of the song. I was struck as I realized that this song seemed to sum up the way I was feeling last year just prior to the break up of my 12 year relationship.

During the last several years of our relationship, I realized that my ex and I had lost the ability to communicate our feelings to each other. Whether it was fear, pride, shame, or defiance, we just stopped telling each other what we needed and wanted. After 12 years I realized that we both had changed, too much it seemed. I was no longer the man that at my ex fell in love with. I was no longer the man he wanted, nor the man that he could ever love again the way he once did. I think it was that thought that initiated the conversation that led to the eventual break up of our 12 year relationship...

It is only now, listening to the lyrics of this beautiful song, that I realize what I was feeling at that time, and the way I was living that I was no longer willing to live:


Like a wildwood flower
Doesn’t have to reach for the sun
And when it needs a drop of water
It doesn’t have to ask the rain to come

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

No one says a diamond ain’t precious
Just because it hasn’t yet been found
And no one blames the moon for not shining
Just because it’s hidden by a cloud

I don’t wanna blame myself
Thinking that I’m not enough
And wonder what’s wrong with me
Because I couldn’t win your love

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

Let the wind
Chase you

*******************************************

The music that completes today's look is "Let The Wind Chase You" by Trisha Yearwood